Why Consider Marital Counseling?

When two people decide to spend a lifetime together it’s nearly impossible to get along all of the time. This is because each partner was raised in a different family and all families have distinct ways of doing things. Differences are usually overlooked when minor decisions are made. However, issues that significantly affect the couple will often bring out fundamental differences of opinion. Such issues include how money is spent or how children are disciplined.

Because of one’s upbringing it can seem as if there are correct ways of doing things. However, if thought through carefully it’s often found there are many ways of accomplishing the same thing. Conflict occurs when one or both partners strongly believe his or her opinion is the right one. Unless the couple learns to be more flexible, chronic conflict can lead to “hard” feelings with loss of mutual love and respect. Marriage counselors attempt to reduce conflict by helping couples solve their problems more effectively.

Couples considering a marital separation are usually very frustrated and may have reached the point of verbal or even physical abuse. Since they’ve been this way for a long time neither partner may be very hopeful. A qualified marriage counselor may help such couples decide whether to try and rebuild their relationship or to separate. All married couples struggle from time to time. The institution of marriage challenges individuals to work out their differences by learning to compromise.

Like most valuable services, marital counseling is rarely free. Fees pay for salaries, rent, secretarial services, and preparation time. Some counselors adjust their fees according to the couple’s income. Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) and insurance plans may subsidize counseling. The financial losses associated with divorce are usually much greater than the cost of counseling.

If you decide to see a marriage counselor, preparing an opinion about the following issues will help you feel more comfortable:

  • The amount of time you talk to each other  

  • How you spend money  

  • The quality of your sexual relationship  

  • Your social life  

  • The way you discipline your children  

  • How chores are shared  

  • How you manage free time  

  • The type of friends you share  

  • How you relate to members of each other’s families

In summary, deciding to either repair or end a marriage is the most critical decision a couple will ever make. Securing the opinion of a trained marriage counselor may serve to prevent unnecessary loss and regrets.  After all, even if things don’t work out you can say you tried your best.

Some Consequences of Divorce

According to Statistics Canada, four in 10 Canadian marriages will end before the 30th wedding anniversary, amounting to 71,000 couples divorcing in 2003. Men take separation harder than women. Newly divorced men are six times more likely to report depression than those who remained married, while women who'd been through a breakup were 3.5 times more likely to become depressed than their still-married counterparts.

What Can Be Done to Minimize the Legal Costs of a Divorce?

Legal Costs






More marriages
might survive
if the
partners realized
that sometimes the
better comes after
the worse.
Doug Larson






Same Old Ending





The goal in
marriage is not to
think alike, but to
think together.

Robert Dodds